that's right ladies and gentlemen. an active member of the yankees sexted me his bronx bomber.
it all started with a tweet.
one summer evening, my friend meghan and i made the trek across the bay to a's stadium. our yankees were in town and it was our obligation as west coast fans to show up in blue and stare at jeter's ass.
plenty of beer, nachos and chicken fingers later, the yankees were still losing. so we directed our attention to the pitchers' bullpen, where one particular number 38 caught our eye. of course, we googled the shit out of him. he's a closing pitcher just pulled up from the minors and he was oh so very cute. between his looks at his dirty side arm, we were drooling. swoon town USA. population 2.
disappointed by the yankee loss, but even more so our boy not getting on the mound, we decided to voice our opinion via 140 characters:
one sullen BART ride later and i was in the comfort of my bed, getting ready for an 11 mile training run awaiting in the morning. and just as i was drifting off to sleep i was startled by a buzzing iphone. turns out, our closing pitcher is also pretty social media savvy and started following me on twitter:
so many things were flashing through my mind:
him: where's my picture?
me: what? it's 1 in the morning.
him: but i sent you my dick!
me: i didn't ask for it!
him: send me a picture.
me: dude, i'm asleep, it's 1 in the morning. i'll send it tomorrow.
him: ok. promise?
me: yes. bye.
my method of stalling was starting to wear thin. so i caved. hey, a promise is a promise. i sent him a picture of my ass in a lacy thong (without my face in the photo, obviously, because c'mon - that's just sexting 101). this was finally enough to get the kid off my ass (heh).
you're probably wondering why the photo of this legendary penis is nowhere to be found here. first of all, this is not an outlet for pornographic imagery (and i'm certain my employer would agree). secondly, most of you have probably already seen it. if not from me, then from some other jersey chasing slut (i hear he gets around). but in all honesty, i don't know that professional athletes are really my cup of tea. they seem to be exponentially needier and hornier than i had ever imagined.
although... baseball season is right around the corner. we'll see what kind of trouble i get into this time around.